there are hundreds of studies showing that how parents treat their children – whether it is with (harsh) discipline or (empathic) understanding, with indifference or warmth, or any mixed pattern – has deep and lasting consequences for the child´s emotional life and balance. Only recently, though, have there been real interest and interesting studies showing that having emotionally intelligent parents is itself of enormous benefit to a child. did you not hear from your parents, we did what we could, it was not easy. This is true but this is the undercover sentence of “I did not know what I was doing, I was not even myself ready for anything like this…” In fact, the way a couple handles the feelings between them – in addition of course of the way they are dealing with their children – gives powerful signals and lessons to their children who are astonishing learners, most of the time acute copiers, attuned to the subtlest emotional exchanges and changes in the family.
overbearing parents, losing patience, raising their voice, showing discontent, disgust or exasperation, some even putting their child down as “stupid” is dangerous. what do those parents achieve, what is the pattern they put their children in, how are the children going to respond in life later?
it is not easy to be perfect and no-one is expecting perfection from anyone in this world! We are not talking about this. But showing respect to one another (a child is a human being and has no less feelings and intelligence than a grown-up), handling emotions and responding to them, addressing them (how often a children comes crying about something we think small or not important but their whole world sometimes depends on this very small detail and we should think it treat it as such), attuning your feelings to theirs.. are some very basic answers, some exercises we should all try in our daily life when this daily life goes too fast between our work and our problems and our life and the lack of time together with the full of the energy, demanding, difficult but so enchanting and sweet requirements of a child.