Dear colleagues of the xxxxxxx, dear president and board,
As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”
For nearly 2 or 3 years now, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this job. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support, specially since I came back from my maternity leave. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all the president xxxx: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance.
Over the past 3 years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. You have given me the chance to work with some absolutely interchangeable board members on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects – an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
To all of the board members of the xxxx. Despite working with people that practiced unethical behaviour, racism, sexism and jealousy I have benefited tremendously by working with you and I truly thank you for that. There was once upon a time where hard work was rewarded and acknowledged, it’s a pity that all of my positive output now falls on deaf ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to the pulse of this association, care a little more and see the effort and dedication. Maybe then you will be able to achieve something and enjoy.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary recipient (”because it’s better for the accounts”) who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime!
To those who I have held a good working relationship with, I will miss being your colleague and will cherish our history together.
Please don’t bother responding as at this very moment I am most likely in a plane going around the world in 81 days!
Best luck to all,
*Post Scriptum: I do not advocate burning bridges in this manner, this is simply a viral email that I wanted to share a long time ago and now even though I need to respect the actual names of the company it is OK to go out with this text written joyfully one evening exactly 3 years ago.