I grew up fast!
From very early, I was not even 10, I remember waking up in the morning to make my “café au lait” and get dressed and get ready to go to school. I was helping my sister with her school work as well and be careful so that she would be on time to go on the bus with me that she would not forget her jacket in school…. I was probably helping at home as well, quite a lot and probably tidying here and there and taking care of the different little things to be taken care of. The little cinderella syndrome?
If anybody starts to contradict these facts, I would like to say to defend myself that each side is right, each memory is right, each memory is different, each memory has the right to have its own truth! The only problem is how much do you really remember?Are all those just facts? Or are there just a very strange vision of a little girl who felt too soon, too much, the burden on her fragile shoulders?
My mother says she has sacrificed her life, that she has done e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g possible and that she suffered quite much with my father “oh, if only you would know what I have been through…” almost adding each time at the end of this sentence ” for you”.
In a way, in her way, she HAD to make it up for herself and get a better life, enjoy better days in the sun …She was 28 when she left my father and she wanted to break free, to enjoy life, love, and good times. Normal n´est ce pas?
Life has it that it was not long before she found the one to enjoy life with. She got lucky very fast. A gorgeous steward on board of the OA (Olympic airways) flight that took us from paris to athens for ever (almost!) and who was smiling like a moron, sinking into her eyes each time he would serve row 16, made her happy again and got together on a ride for a very adventurous and a crazy life, going out, partying -recovering – being happy at last!
And the more she was happy the more I was unhappy. I very soon understood also what it was to pretend, to spie, to lie, to cry in the dark, to feel alone, to feel unsafe…
I am pretty sure now, the last things I heard from my father was the terrible words : “now you have to take care of your sister – you are a big girl now.”….heavy words for just a child.
so I had to grow up. too soon. too fast.