I am a summer girl. Since I was a kid, it has been my favorite season. I love warm air, swimming pools, the light that stays into the evening. The beginning of summer, like all seasons, represents change.
A few seemingly minor things have happened over the past couple of weeks that have made me realize that my world is changing. And they have reminded me that nothing is permanent — that things (even the things we wish wouldn’t) – evolve, and that they evolve constantly. And we don’t even notice most of the time. Things are always shifting and moving — in nature, in relationships, everywhere, all the time. That’s why Buddhists practice non-attachment. They say attachment is the cause of suffering. Since things are always changing, attachment can only cause pain.
We mostly notice when something changes when it begins to hurt. And then we say “WHAT THE *#$^# JUST HAPPENED?” And then we realize this thing that is causing the sting has been sloooooowly changing for a long time, and that we just didn’t notice. That circumstance we took for granted, that thing that grounded us — is no longer what we thought. And we have to start over and find new ground and create a new world view to keep ourselves feeling okay.
In very small ways this happens to us every day. Something in our reality is shaken. But most of the time these things are so small that we move through them with ease, and we might barely notice them. And other times they feel bigger and more significant. At forty-six I’ve been through enough painful evolutions in my life to know I will get through the current one, where when I was sixteen a similar situation might have made me crawl into a hole and not come out for weeks. The more change and related pain we experience over our lifetimes, the more adept we get at moving through it. And that’s a good thing to remember.
And also, let’s face it, while some change is super painful, other change can feel welcomed and exhilarating. Every dark side has a light side, or so they say. So on this lovely summer morning, I’m searching for the light in my current round of change, and feeling grateful for the stuff in my life that is, at least for today, standing still.
Have a good Monday, friends.
Published by Lisa Congdon (who I admire very much) on