Let’s start with babies. Infants and very young children can be said to operate quite naturally from a narcissistic point of view. They are completely self-absorbed, crave attention, and act as if the whole world should respond to their every need and demand and in this way they do get their needs met as they should. We could say they are totally self-centered and are unable to distinguish themselves from everything else they encounter. The whole world exists just to be put into their mouths. This type of narcissism is completely normal for an infant and small children because it is geared for their own survival and that is the key difference between a child and an adult. We think it is normal for an infant to be totally demanding and self centered but when we see this behavior in an adult it makes us uncomfortable and we think it is inappropriate and even weird.
Most of us do not realize that when we see narcissism in an adult we are actually looking at one of the main characteristics of soul age. We think that if a person has an adult body they must be mature but of course this is not the case at all. At this time fifty percent of the world population is in one of the three younger stages of development, infant, toddler, and child stages. People in any of these stages are going to exhibit some forms of narcissism. Why? Because they are not yet adults no matter what their biological age is. Psychologically they are exhibiting the dynamics of a small child. Me and not me, me and other me’s, and me and you and I win. In these three stages of human evolution there is no access to an internal life. There is virtually no insight, there is no actual relating to another person as an equal because they are simply not capable of putting their feet in another’s shoes.
However if you look around the world at how many adults treat each other you will clearly see that they are similar to four year olds. They can say all the right things but then hack other people to death, incinerate them, blow them apart, behead them, be completely oblivious to their suffering and so on.
When you see narcissism in an adult you are a looking at some version of a younger soul. So let us look at narcissism a little more.
Narcissism may show up in a variety of ways in an adult. Generally you might find yourself thinking that they are self-centered, selfish, egotistical, vain, arrogant, or conceited. You may also notice that they seem to have little or no compassion for other people less fortunate even though they spout politically correct phrases to the contrary. They have no compunction about owning a huge opulent house or castle even though the townspeople are poor and scrabbling for a living.