life

Shedding Patterns of Victimhood

I went to a trauma workshop and I learnt about many things including shedding an internalized identification with victimhood patterns. To the extent that we are not owning our full power we are possibly unconsciously trying to control and manipulate other people. Pulling them into enmeshed dynamics. From this place we think people owe us. It is not totally our fault- we all have our responsibility- we are also vulnerable to be pulled in to save, rescue, take care, or control others because of our own fear and patterns. When one person or group stops, the whole dynamic can change. Owning our power is a somatic embodied thing. We can think it all we want but we need to anchor it in the body, in action.

It has risks for ourselves and for others and the whole system when anyone is stuck in the victim position on individual and collective levels. However the problem is that when we get blamed or targeted for it, it reinstates it even stronger. We need to feel safe and it helps to be challenged by loving allies who out of love and care give us such a reflection and don’t let us continue in the same way. This is a wonderful way for us to reclaim the power that is fully ours. If someone doesn’t own their power we are all affected. We are one system. It is the only way for everyone to have their power.
To resuscitate our autonomous sense of being.
We take full pristine responsibility for ourselves. While there is a victim then no one has their full power.

When we create more awareness as to the state of our nervous systems, notice our triggers and our dissociative responses, and create somatic resource to increase our window of tolerance, we start to have more autonomy over our instincts and can be responsive rather than fully reactive with no choice in the matter. As we do this all story dissolves. it’s a moment to moment thing. It’s not bypassing the body because “it’s just story”, we are fully in the body. We start unfurling and defrosting.
We feel our power in ourselves fully, and also in connection. We make the boundaries we need to keep feeling ourselves. We take somatic care of ourselves. We see there is nothing wrong with us or with anyone else.

All of society is built on the atomic structure of attachment. Our capacity to be with ourselves and to be with each other at the same time.
Most of us have sacrificed our real autonomy and our sense of real connection.


It comes up in intimate relationships but it’s underneath all societal structures and all the domains where humans interact with each other. We can create social change on a large scale by deep listening to ourselves and by attending to the way we regulate our nervous systems.

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